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What Do I Do If I Just Can’t Forgive Someone?

Forgiveness can sometimes be one of the hardest things in life to do. Remembering the wrongs done to you can be very painful. If you are not careful, the video of what happened to you will constantly play in your mind. It can feel like you are caught in a loop – experiencing things over and over again.

Keys to truly forgiving someone

  • Remember that you are not perfect
  • Realize that you reap what you sow
  • Consider that the other person has flaws
  • Don’t wait for an apology
  • Express your feelings to the person, if appropriate
  • Focus on the fact that you can control your emotions
  • Seek help if needed
  • Choose to move on

Remember that you are not perfect. As good as you are, you are not perfect. Everyone is flawed to some degree. It is hard to be stuck on the actions of another person when you consider your own life. You have made mistakes. You have said wrong things. You have hurt others before. This is a part of life.

Realize that you reap what you sow. Everything you send out comes back to you. Send out love, and you receive love. Send out hate, and you receive hate. Send out forgiveness, and you receive forgiveness. In life, everything returns to its source.

Consider that the other person has flaws. As previously mentioned, everyone has flaws. No one is perfect. We should not expect perfection in others. Each person has to choose to grow. Some people decide not to grow. Some people prefer to stay stuck.

Don’t wait for an apology. Unfortunately, you may be waiting for an apology from the person who wronged you. While it would be good for them to do this, it may never happen. Some people don’t feel they have done anything wrong. Others just don’t care how they make you feel. In either case, waiting for an apology could be a total waste of your time and energy. What if they never apologize? You still have to live your life. Don’t let anyone have that much power over you, no matter what they did.

Express your feelings to the person, if appropriate. If you get an opportunity, and you believe it will make a difference, seek the opportunity to share your feelings with the person who offended you. Sometimes, this is not possible or the best idea. If people are not willing to receive what you have to say, be careful about sharing. Avoid any sharing that will lead to further conflict.

Focus on the fact that you can control your emotions. You cannot control what people do to you, but you can control how you feel about it. Choose to always be positive in every situation. Positivity will not hurt you. Negativity will hurt you. Never give another person control of your emotions. When you do that, you set yourself up for disappointment and pain.

Seek help if needed. If you cannot move on after trying everything you know to do, it might be time to talk to someone. Start by reaching out to someone you trust who will be honest with you. Pick someone with wisdom. After that, it may be time to speak to a licensed counselor. This may be the smartest thing to do.

Choose to move on. Choose to release the offender from any feelings you hold against them. This doesn’t mean you are wrong. It doesn’t mean they are right. It merely says you want to move on with your life.